Ryan's Wet Detention
Well guys, I started to write this up weeks ago, but never got it finished because of the trolls and arguments. This all happened a few weeks ago now when I was doing my afternoon detentions for not having told the Headmaster who’d soaked me with their water bottles at lunch in the yard. It’s a long one, so be warned! I’ve tried to write it properly and only with slang in the speech. I’m trying to do this properly so that I actually learn something from doing it.
So, it wasn’t really a detention because I’d been put in Mr. Swim’s charge for an hour all week. He’d not really been too fussed to punish me because I think he understands me a bit and we usually get along well. He knows he can rely on me to help when he asks and he looks out for me when I manage to get in the crap, and as you all know that is quite often!
Mr. Swim had decided that for my detentions I would clean the swimming pool area. Not really a punishment because I’m always there after school mopping the pool sides before I drop the door sneck and leave. I’m always there with somebody, because those are the rules. I hear you all shout at me, ‘since when have you followed the school rules Ryan?’ Well I follow the rules when I like doing something and I don’t want to get stopped having access to the pool after school, especially when it gets warmer.
So, on the Monday afternoon I turn up to the pool, on my own for the detention. For once Mr. Swim is there. I slip my shoes off in the pool foyer and walk poolside in my socks. Mr. Swim has like a small office with windows at the end of the poolside and I’ve never really seen him in there much before. I walk towards the office as I can see him in there through the window. He meets me at the door. “Afternoon Ryan, so you’ve come for your detentions?” I smile at him shuffling my feet nervously with my hands stuffed in my trouser pockets, “yes Sir, I hope you’re not going to work me too hard?” He smiled back at me, “well young man that would be telling and you’re here for a detention!” I laughed awkwardly at him, “OK Sir, do your worst!”
At that point we were interrupted by a knock on the poolside door from the foyer, it was Ross. Mr. Swim waved him in, and Ross opened the door slipping his shoes off. Ross walked up towards us, “Sir, can I help Ryan with the detentions?” Mr. Swim looked shocked and so was I because Ross hadn’t mentioned this at last lesson. Mr. Swim looked at him quite sternly, “Ross these are Ryan’s detentions for not telling the Headmaster the truth!” I immediately butted in, “excuse me Sir, but that’s not quite right! I wouldn’t tell the Headmaster something, I didn’t lie to him!” Mr. Swim got hold of me by the arms, “Ryan don’t be so pedantic, you didn’t tell the Headmaster what he asked you … so you’re here now!” I shrugged still not very happy about being accused of lying. Ross spoke, “well Sir, you see it was sort of my fault because I was one of the boys who poured the water over him.” Mr. Swim smiled, “I see so you’re owning up to it then Ross?” “Yes Sir, I’ll take my punishment with Ryan.” Mr. Swim laughed, “alright then Ross I better send you to see the Headmaster!” Ross’ jaw nearly fell on the floor and he fidgeted on the spot. “No Sir, I didn’t mean that! I’ll just help Ryan and do whatever you tell us to do.” Ross was still looking worried because he’s never been sent to the Head before, that’s usually reserved for me. I could tell Mr. Swim was enjoying this and he let Ross stew for a few moments. Ross was getting more nervous, “Sir, if I stay and help Ryan then that means you’ll be able to leave us here while you go and do stuff.” Mr. Swim let him stew for a bit, “alright Ross you’ve sold that to me. I’ll tell you both what to do and then I’ll go off and get things done while you work. I’ll come back periodically to check on you.”
So, he set us the jobs to do. On Monday I had to clean the tiles on one side wall using the ladders with Ross holding the bottom steady. We then had to mop the floor as usual. Mr. Swim came back three times during the hour detention to check on us and the swine deliberately came poolside in his shoes leaving dirty marks on our clean floor. “Oh, dear boys, I forgot to take my shoes off!” We stood glaring at him with our hands on our hips. “Sir, you’re not daft you did that deliberately!” I growled. “Who’s doing the detention Ryan, you or me?” I muttered under my breath to Ross. “Any more of that Ryan and it’ll be two weeks of detentions!” I picked the mop back up, “OK Sir, sorry I’ll start mopping again. Are you going now or not?” Mr’ Swim took his shoes off and stood in his socks. “No, I’ll go in the pool office while you finish off, I won’t wear my shoes again … tonight.” I cast a glance at him as I started mopping again and he smiled sarcastically at me. “The wall tiles look a lot cleaner boys”, he said walking over and inspecting them. We could both see his blue socks were getting pretty wet walking on the floor tiles we’d mopped. I couldn’t stop myself being a bit cheeky, “Sir, your socks are getting very wet!” He turned to look at me, “and so are yours Ryan. Do you know how many years I’ve been doing this now?” I looked at Ross, “do you mean teaching Sir or getting your socks wet?” He smiled,” I’ll give you the figures and you work it out, 21.” Me and Ross scowled at each other. Ross spoke up, “so Sir can I ask how old you are?” “Well Ross how old do you think I am?” I dug Ross in the ribs, “be very careful Ross or we’ll be here all month!” Mr. Swim laughed at me. After a few seconds Ross blurted out “early thirties Sir?” We looked at Mr. Swim worriedly. “Yes Ross, I’m thirty-two this year”. We instantly relaxed and my brain started working, “so Sir you’re saying you started getting your socks wet at eleven, you weren’t teaching then!” Mr. Swim smiled at us, “you’re not daft Ryan and we’re not too dissimilar! Why do you think I like teaching swimming so much?” With that he turned and went into his pool office. I turned to Ross, “what do you make of that?” “I’m not really sure, leave it with me”. He replied moving the mop bucket.
So, Tuesday we cleaned the next wall and Mr. Swim came back twice. On Wednesday we cleaned the third wall and Thursday the last wall and Mr. Swim came back once each day as we were finishing. Each day he walked in with his socks getting them wet on the floor and we stared at him still not sure what to make of his statement. Friday came and we both went to the pool, dumping our gym bags with our shoes in the foyer. He was there waiting for us. “Last detention day boys and the whole pool side is looking super clean, well done!” We smiled back, “does that mean we don’t have to bother today Sir and can go straight home?” I cheekily asked. “No Ryan it means you’ve got to work extra hard to finish it!” I looked at Ross puzzled, “so what’s left to do Sir?” He laughed, “what do you think dopey?” “Sir, you can’t call me dopey. It’s not right!” He laughed loudly,” you’re a cocky git Ryan and I’ll call you what I want!” Ross shoved me and we giggled, “OK Sir, I’ll take that one, but what’s left to do?” “The showers you couple of idiots!” Ross looked at me,” OH yeh!”
There are two ways to the changing rooms and showers. One from poolside through a cold-water trough and shower meant to clean you before swimming and the other from the foyer when you come in from outside to get changed. The foyer door is usually locked by the time we get there, and the cold shower turned off. On Friday the shower was still turned on. “Sir is the foyer door unlocked?” Ross enquired. “No, I’ll give you the key if you want it?” Mr. Swim replied. I looked at him, “well if we don’t use the key, we’re gonna get a bit wet goin through there!” I pointed at the running shower. Mr. Swim grinned, “Ryan remind us why you’re here?” I looked at Ross, “because I got wet and wouldn’t tell the Headmaster who’d done it.” Mr. Swim sat on a pool side bench, “have you got dry clothes in your gym bags boys?” Again, me and Ross exchanged glances, “yes Sir PE kit, trainers and trackies.” “so, if you get a little damp you’ve got clothes to change into?” I stared at Ross, “yes Sir.” Mr. Swim fumbled in his pocket placing a set of two keys on the poolside, “so there’s the door key boys and I’ll leave it up to you how you get through to clean the showers. I’m not coming back tonight; your detentions are complete. Leave the keys on the office desk please and lock the door when you leave like normal”. With that he got up and left.
I looked at Ross, “what was that all about? Is he saying he doesn’t mind us jumping through the showers?” Ross grinned, “YEH, that’s exactly what he meant. As long as we’ve got dry clothes, he doesn’t care what we do!” I looked puzzled, “are you sure that’s what he meant Ross, it doesn’t sound like the sort of thing a teacher would say we could do.” Ross made his way towards the shower, “who ACTUALLY CARES, he’s not coming back anyways!” With that Ross stepped into the trough with his socks and the shower poured over his head until he stepped out the other side. His socks and the bottom of his black slim pants were soaked and shiny. His blazer was pretty damp, and the front of his white shirt stuck to his chest. He shook the water from his hair and grinned at me. “That’s cold but mint mate, you comin?” I knew I was going to but wasn’t taking responsibility for this, “ if we get in crap for this Ross, it’s on yous pal!” With that I stepped into the trough, instantly soaking my already wet socks. The water ran over my head and down the front of my shirt. I tried to step out the other side, but Ross blocked me. “Let me out you muppet, I’m getting soaked!” Ross giggled pushing me back, “tough sh*t!” By now my blazer, shirt and even my pants were getting wet. “Sod it d*ck head!” I shouted grabbing Ross’ arms and pulling him back in. We were both totally soaked within a few moments and we eventually got out dripping on the floor and laughing. We looked at the state of our shiny silky soaked clothes and giggled, “I’m friggin freezing Ross, lets get in the warm shower.” We made our way under the warm showers getting even more soaking, but we were happy, this was amazing fun. “What a way to spend a detention Ry!” “Yeh, I can’t quite believe we’re doin this!”
After we finished messing in the showers, we gave them a clean and turned the cold water shower off as we stepped back through the trough still soaking wet. We mopped the poolside and finished everything apart from the pool cover. “when you goin to get changed Ross?” “After I’ve pulled the cover over.” “I’ll get in today and do it now that I’m soaked”, I said. “NO, that’s what I do, and it’s been too cold to do it for weeks!” We grinned at each other, “I’ll fight you for it Ross!” I grabbed his arms and we stood near the edge wrestling; this was only going to end one way … with us both treading water in the pool. We splashed down and bobbed opposite each other laughing. “You got spare boxers and socks Ross?” “ERR NO, you?” “I never bother to bring any!” I replied. We swam and messed around for a little while and then started to pull the cover over … just as the pool door OPENED!
We both stood completely still in the pool, our mouths wide open for the flies to land! Mr. Swim was stood there staring at us both. There was dead silence … forever. He looked very stern and we were crapping ourselves. He spoke, “so this is what you get up to when I’m not around on your detentions than?” I didn’t know what to say as my blazer and shirt tails floated around me, “sorry Sir, we sort of just fell in!” I knew it sounded totally rubbish as an excuse, but I didn’t know what else to say. Ross just quietly muttered “sorry Sir”. Mr Swim’s face didn’t alter, and he walked over to the tiled steps and walked slowly down in his socks. He was wearing his tracksuit and looked like he’d been playing squash. He beckoned us towards him as his feet met the water and he sat on the steps with his socks and the lower part of his legs in the pool. “What are you doing boys?” His face remained the same. I was really worried now and said, “sorry Sir it was just a bit of fun. We’ll get changed to go home; we didn’t think you’d mind.” What seemed like minutes passed, then suddenly he smiled and said, “I don’t! But you shouldn’t be in the pool together. You’ve been told before that someone must be on the side to raise the alarm.” With that he stood up and climbed back up the steps with water running out of his trackies and socks from the knees down. Me and Ross just looked at each other in total shock. “Did he just say this is alright Ry?” I stuttered, “I think so”. Mr. Swim turned and smiled at us, “you two need to lighten up, it’s fine as long as you’ve got dry clothes to change into … but I haven’t given you permission. Got it boys?” We looked at each other in shock, “yes Sir we can get wet in the pool, but you haven’t given us permission and someone needs to be always stood on the side!” Me and Ross just looked at each other in total amazement, “what the hell just happened Ross?” We started to climb out with water gushing out of our clothes. Ross padded his blazer pockets to get the water out while stood on the steps. He looked straight at me soaked to the skin and shiny, “I really don’t know what to make of that Ry … he’s like just given us permission but not!”
We both stood there soaked and dripping as Mr. Swim came out of his office with some paperwork. “Make sure you both get changed before leaving, it’s freezing outside. And make sure you pull the pool cover over properly, one of you get back in and finish the job.” He walked to the door and left for the weekend. Ross dived back in to finish the cover while I sat on the side still in shock. I had really thought I was in for even more crap and probably another trip to the Head, but instead we had actually been given permission to swim as long as we got changed for home. WTH!!